Middle Temple and Temple Church

ONE OF THE four Inns of Court in London is Middle Temple – or more formally known as the Honourable Society of the Middle Temple. The other three are Inner Temple, Lincoln’s Inn and Gray’s Inn, all in close proximity of each other, and they are where barristers work and, in some cases, live – in fact, in the early days it was were many of them did live communally, hence the name ‘Inn’. Middle and Inner Temple were once referred to as Middle Inn and Inner Inn of the Temple. I’m only going to talk about Middle Temple because it’s my Inn of Court, so there.


Middle Temple Hall

 It’s called Middle Temple because the land it stands upon was once owned by the Knights Templars. In fact, the Temple Church which stand in the grounds today (see below) was built by them in 1185. The Knights Templar (they were mainly English and French) came into existence 895 years ago almost exactly. How many days more depends when you are reading this as it was Christmas Day 1119 that nine knights took monastic vows to protect pilgrims travelling from Western Europe to the Holy lands of the Levant. This was as a result of conflict between Christians and Muslims (nothing much has changed in nearly 1000 years). These knights were initially called the Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and the Temple of Solomon – Knights Templar for short. They came to an end in 1312 (Friday 13th October in fact – hence Friday 13th being supposedly bad luck) when King Philip IV of France, who was in with the Pope Clement V, persuaded the General Council of Rome to suppress the Order of the Templars. Philip was in great financial debt to the Templars – get rid of the Templars, get rid of the debt. Nice one Phil. It’s not what you know …… Anyway, in England the Templar properties were given to another military monastic order, the Hospitallers (or Knights of St John). For more on Templars click here.

templarKnight Templar

Cutting a long story short, the King’s courts moved from York to Westminster in 1339 and the judges needed to be nearby – and that is when the four Inns of Court were set up. At that time it was judges of the Inns that ‘Called’ advocates to the Bar to follow them in the King’s court (then the Common Pleas or Commons Bench). These advocates were called serjeants-at law (servientes ad legem) but they ‘went-out-of-use’ in the late 19th century and were replaced by senior barristers known as Queen’s Counsel (QC) and junior barristers (who are all ‘Called’ into their respective Inns).


Middle Templar Lord Lindley was the last sergeant-at-law to be appointed – he became a QC in 1874

Middle Temple was rented to the lawyers by the Hospitallers until the Reformation of Henry VIII in the 16th century. The Crown then became its landlord until the reign of James I in 1608 when it obtained clear title to the land. Hooorah! Sir Walter Raleigh was a Middle Templar; Sir France Drake was not – but the cover hatch to his Golden Hind is still used today as the table to which Middle Temple barristers are Called to the Bar having qualified. Fine piece of useless trivia. And more – William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night was first performed in Middle Temple in 1602 (there are several ‘Inn’ jokes to be found in the play).

 golnf hin2

 Hatch of the Golden Hind used a a table but actually called the ‘cupboard’ (don’t ask)

 mid temp 2

Western interior of Middle Temple hall for dinning  … smart, eh?

Middle Temple Hall was built between 1562 and 1574 under the guidance of the Treasurer, Edmund Plowden. He employed the services of Sir John Thynne’s chief carpenter, John Lewis, to construct the hammer-beam roof (similar to the one he had created at Longleat). By the late 16th century the four Inns of Court were known as the third University (after Oxford and Cambridge, of course) and Middle Temple was the centre of education for potential lawyers of that Inn (and children of the nobility). Much of the learning was achieved by attending moots (mock trials) and dinners to discuss law – both traditions still continue today wherein student barristers have to attend 12 dinners in Hall before they can be Called to the Bar and mooting is a competitive activity.


Edmund Plowden (1518-85)

During the Second World War, on 15th October 1940, a landmine on a parachute destroyed the eastern gable of Hall and the Elizabethan minstrel’s gallery. It was painstakingly restored and reopened in July 1949. In fact, Middle Temple as a whole suffered quite badly due to bombing during the war – it lost 122 of its 285 sets of chambers (sets of ‘offices’ where barrister work). But it’s all better now.

The eastern gable and minstrel’s gallery in Hall ………  1christodoulou-beresford-war-damage-to-hallbefore (in October 1940)   (painting by Frank Beresford now hanging in the minstrel’s gallery)       


…. and after (that’s Plowden’s statue in the middle)

You can also hire the Hall and for more info on the place click here

Temple Church

As mentioned above, Temple Church was built in 1185 and is one of the oldest churches in London. Templar churches were always built to a circular design to remind the Templars of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre at Jerusalem, which has a round dome above the site of the sepulchre where Jesus was buried. The church is still used today as a place of worship by both Middle and Inner Temple members and guests on Sundays. It’s well worth a visit and it’s open most days to the public.

 Middle Temple Church

Temple Church 

The film buffs among you will recognize it from its appearance in Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code. Hanks & Co are looking in the church following the clue: “In London lies a knight a Pope interred. His labour’s fruit a Holy wrath incurred. You seek the orb that ought be on his tomb. It speaks of Rosy flesh and seeded womb.” I forget what they found – other than trouble, but ‘the knight a Pope interred’ would have been one of the effigies of the Knights Templars that are on the floor of the circular part of the church. They include William Marshall, first Earl of Pembroke, and his son, William Marshall, second Earl of Pembroke. The first earl was chief adviser to King John and regent to Henry III until he came of age; the second earl was a witness to King John signing the Magna Carta in 1215 (more on that next week).


Effigies of Knights Templars in Temple Church (situated in the circular part) – the Marshalls are far right background


The Earls of Pembroke (dad to the left)

Next week: it will be 2015 – 800 years since the Magna Carta …..

Artemus Smith’s Notebooks

I continue my research of the notebooks of Dr Artemus Smith, archaeologist of great courage, determination and fiction. Here is another extract:

I received a letter from my good friend Joshua Barts-Hofner, a bit of a wit and jolly good rugger player. The letter read as follows:

My dear Artemus,

It was our thirtieth wedding anniversary last week and my adorable lady-wife asked me to describe her after all these years. I looked at her for a while, then said, “You’re an alphabet wife ….. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”

She asked … “What on earth does that mean?”

I said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous, and Hot”.

She smiled happily and said … “Oh, that’s so lovely, but what about I, J, K?”

I said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

The swelling in my eye is going down and I’m darn glad I took out dental insurance.

Yours, etc


Brasenose – an Oxford College


Brasenose College from the High Street (late 19th century frontage)

LET ME introduce you to an Oxford College – Brasenose College – my old College in fact. It boasts alumni such as Sir Arthur Evans (he of Knossos fame – see my June blogs), Sir William Golding (Lord of the Flies), John Buchan (Thirty-Nine Steps), William Webb Ellis (for rugby fans – he invented the game), Colin Cowdrey (for cricket fans), Michael Palin (for Monty Python fans), oh, and David Cameron (for …..er …., well, he was there).


The Old Quad (16th century) – sun dial (1719) on left wall often recognized in Morse episodes (the dome top right is not part of BNC, it’s the Radcliffe Camera outside in Radcliffe Square)

Brasenose began life as Brasenose Hall around 1219, but it was founded as Brasenose College (BNC) in 1509 by Sir Richard Sutton, a barrister (who acquired the property for the site), and William Smyth, Bishop of Lincoln (who provided for the expenses of the building) and it received its Royal Charter in 1512 with the full name of ‘The King’s Hall and College of Brasenose’.

bnc               BNC coats of arms – to left is Smyth’s, to right is Sutton’s and in the centre is the See of Lincoln’s (the diocese in which Oxford lay in when the College was founded)

Portrait_of_William_Smith_founder_of_Brasenose_College_Oxford_by_John_Faber_the_Elder      NPG D4337; Sir Richard Sutton by John Faber Sr, after  Unknown artist

 William Smyth (1460-1514)                                          Richard Sutton (? – 1524)

The Old Quad (pictured above) is the original 16th century building, but then of just two floors.  A third floor with dormer windows was added in 1635. The oldest part of the College is the 15th century kitchen from when it was part of the earlier Brasenose Hall (see below) – it has since been update once or twice – in fact, very recently. Between 1657 and 1666 the Deer Park (very small area and supposedly named as a sly dig at the massive Magdalen Deer Park), the New Library and the New Chapel were added to the south of the Old Quad building. Nothing much happened to the place during the 18th century due to lack funds (well, it had funds but most of them seem to end up in the pockets of the Principal and Senior Fellows – much to the annoyance of the Junior Fellows who complained bitterly ….. until they became Senior Fellows). Then towards the end of the 19th century the High Tower and New Quad adjacent to the High Street began to take shape (see pics at beginning and end).


Extent of BNC  from the 16th century to early 17th century (north to the right)


BNC in 1674


Part (about half) of the Deer Park in foreground (I said it was small) with the New Chapel in the background

Interestingly, sport was rarely played by any of the Oxford Colleges before the 19th century – young men of Oxford in the 18th century, particularly, were of the drinking sort rather than the sporting sort (or even academic sort – only a few bothered with actually obtaining a degree in those days!). Sport began, unsurprisingly, with rowing, then, wot ho!, cricket. BNC acquired a good reputation in these two activities in the early days. In fact, since the races began in 1815, BNC runs 3rd with 23 victories as the ‘Head of the River’ (Oriel is 2nd with 30, Christ Church is 1st with 33).

bnc rowing

A Saturday afternnon in May, end of Eights Week, the rowing viewed from the balcony of BNC boat club (with Pimms) is always a good crack

The College’s, shall we say, unusual name refers to a 12th century ‘brazen’ (brass or bronze) door knocker in the shape of a nose. The door knocker is said to date back to the 13th century and, from around 1279, marked the entrance to Brasenose Hall (an academic hall – independently leased in 1381 – before BNC became a College in 1509). In 1333, it is believed that the door knocker was removed by a band of rebellious students who migrated to Stamford in Lincolnshire. This rebellion was, in due course, suppressed and the students were ordered to return to Oxford – but without the knocker. In 1880, a house in Stamford came up for sale – it had been known as ‘Brasenose’ since the 17th century due to its door knocker which was thought to be the very one taken by the migrating students in the 14th century. BNC purchased the house to recover the door knocker! Well, spare no expense!


BNC’s 13th century door knocker now displayed  in Hall

DON’T READ THIS PARAGRAPH AT NIGHT (you have been warned): BNC also has its legends. One of the more ‘infamous’ is the alleged brief composition of the Hell Fire Club (HFC) wherein demon worship – and a good deal of drinking – supposedly (well, only with regard to the former) took place. So, nearing midnight on a December eve in (reportedly) 1828, on returning to College via a dimly-lit Brasenose Lane, a Fellow of BNC noticed a tall character dressed in a long black cloak pulling a person through a ground floor window which was not only protected by upright iron bars but also reinforced with stout wire-netting (to prevent students sneaking out at night). The window was that of a known and degenerate member of the HFC. Preposterous of course. However, on hastily rounding the corner of the Lane and entering the College, the Fellow encountered much shouting and then took sight of a rush of a group of terrified gentlemen appearing into the Quad from the staircase containing the very room with the window just described above. The legend concludes by suggesting that the owner of the room had been mid-way through a blasphemous speech when he fell dead with a broken blood vessel. It may be inferred that the tall man in the black cloak was the Devil Himself coming to collect the soul of his own (this tale is recorded in the 1872 journal Odds and Ends). Of course, no mention was ever made of the identity or the alcoholic state of the Fellow who ‘witnessed’ the tall man in the black cloak performing this devilish deed.


Soulless visitor to BNC

Not finished yet. The ‘legend’ then moves to archived fact. On the 3rd March 1834, Edward Leigh Trafford, a 21 year old undergraduate who had ground floor rooms with windows facing Brasenose Lane, and who, by tradition, was a president of the HFC, died of delirium tremens (the DTs – okay, ‘the horrors’!). Spooky, eh?

bnc lane

Brasenose Lane (BNC to the left) – avoid it at midnight, in case of drunken Fellows

During the 17th century BNC found itself in financial difficulties which worsened in the Civil War when Charles I made his headquarters in Oxford. He borrowed as sum of money from BNC for the conflict against the Parliamentarians. This, along with the 8% interest was never paid back – until November 2008…. by me in recognition of the 500 years of BNC (needless to say the sum is not comparable to today’s values and I did not include the interest as I had no statutory evidence that BNC was registered as a moneylender in the 17th century and therefore able to lawfully charge interest – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!). I had read about the debt in Joe Mordaunt Crook’s 2008 book on Brasenose and the, then, Principal at BNC, Professor Roger Cashmore, wrote to me to say my contribution had been ‘immortalized in two speeches’ by him introducing the book on two occasions, but I’m still awaiting a note of appreciation from the present Royal Family …..

Talking of which, also to celebrate 500 years of BNC, the Queen visited BNC on 2nd December 2009 and was shown around the College by Roger Cashmore.


Roger Cashmore reminding Her Majesty of my generosity


The New Quad (behind the High Street – completed by 1911 – modern by BNC standards!)


Next week: Let’s go look at an Inn of Court



Did you know it was 70 years (and 5 days) since we sadly lost, as a result of a plane cash, the very talented Jimmy Stewart ……. sorry, Glenn Miller (I’m of the generation – I think most of us are now – that can never think of Glenn Miller without seeing James Stewart who memorably (obviously) played him in the 1954  film The Glenn Miller Story). Anyway, 15th December 1944, he (Miller not Stewart) was flying from an RAF base at Twinwood Farm, Clapham, Bedford, in the UK, to Paris to play to the troops, when his plane disappeared over the English Channel. It has been suggested that the most likely theory for the disaster is that the carburetor froze up in the cold weather. In fact, this was the cause of my father’s crash in his Wellington Bomber in 1940 resulting in him ending up in Stalag Luft III (of ‘The Great Escape’ fame – see end of that blog beginning of August).

Len Goodman of Strictly Come something is doing a radio prog on Miller which may be worth a listen. Click here,

- Stewart, James (Glenn Miller Story, The)_01                 Maj. Glenn Miller

Jimmy Stewart as Glenn Miller and Glen Miller as himself (which is which? – obvious when you see them!)

Artemus Smith’s Notebooks

I continue my research of the notebooks of Dr Artemus Smith, archaeologist of great courage, determination and fiction. Here is another extract:

I was in church with my old tutor from Oxford and we were just chatting whilst waiting for the start of the service, when, strap me, Satan himself suddenly appeared.  Many of the congregation screamed to see God’s arch enemy and they all ran from the building.  I was too astounded to consider a plan of action but simply exclaimed to my old friend (my tutor, not Satan), “Good Lord, what a scoundrel; damned impertinence, if you ask me!”

My tutor nonchalantly suggested that we stay where we were as there was no need for concern.

Now this clearly confused Satan and he walked up to my tutor and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

My tutor replied, “Indeed I do.”

Satan asked, “Are you not afraid of me?”

“Not at all,” replied my tutor.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, “Why not?”

My tutor calmly replied, “My dear fellow, I have been married to your sister for over 48 years.”


Ye Olde Castle Inn, Bramber

castle pub

Ye Old Castle Hotel

ONCE UPON A TIME there was this Inn in Bramber, West Sussex, called the White Lion. Today it’s my local pub and called the Castle Hotel. How did that happen? Well, it’s first mentioned, as the White Lion, in Henry VIII’s time in the 16th century (1526, as ‘dispensing alcohol’) but it could go back further than that. In the ‘olden’ days, Inns took their names from the local Lords’ family crests and Bramber’s Lord after William the Conq was William de Braose (see my blog on Bramber Castle way back in April) and the crest of his son, Philip de Braose, (c 1096-1135) was a lion – but a gold one. The coat of arms of William de Mowbray (1173-1222) was a white lion and Bramber became part of the de Mowbray estate by marriage in 1298, when John de Mowbray married Aline de Braose. The two lions merged when de Mowbray became Duke of Norfolk in 1397, so the pub could date back to sometime then …… oh yes it could.

philip_de_Braose,_coat_of_arms,_Falkirk_Roll_svg           de_Mowbray,_

Philip de Braose’s coat of arms                         William de Mowbray’s  coats of arms


De Mowbray/Duke of Norfolk coat of arms at the end of the 14th century

It would, of course, have been quite a popular Inn as it was on the main Pilgrims road from Canterbury to Winchester (and vice versa) so would have been a stopping off point for travellers throughout the Middle Ages. So, a Pilgrims’ Progress – to a pie and a pint. Nothing much has changed there.


Pilgrims progress on route, with silly hats; “Mine’s a pint at the White Lion” says the guy on the white horse

The White Lion doubled up as the Bramber court house which was most likely a room on the first floor. In fact, in 1552, the County Coroner and 14 jurors gathered at the court house to decide whether the innkeeper of the White Horse, William Battner, should be tried for assaulting a Joan Davyd, the servant of the innkeeper of the ‘other public house’ in Bramber (wherever that may have been).  Joan had been fighting with William’s son, John, when William’s dogs had been attacking pigs belonging to the ‘other innkeeper’ (widow Kayne); the pigs had been causing damage on Battner’s land – get it? Anyway, Joan died as result of John wacking her ear with his hand. The jury of the inquest held that Joan died of a natural death because she had been suffering from black jaundice and was already weakened, so the blow did not cause her death (don’t try this at home as today it would be manslaughter. Don’t say you haven’t been warned).


“You deserve a clip round the ear as well, sir – but it’s your round!”

By the 17th century the Inn was sleeping around fourteen people and this increased to around twenty by the early 18th century. There were four ground floor rooms and five on the first floor (including the court ‘house’) and a stable yard at the back (now the new family restaurant, formerly the games room). From 1780 to 1833, the Inn was owned by the Gough family who, from 1713-1860, also owned St Mary’s Tudor House along the High Street. So the Goughs were obviously an affluent bunch who dabbled in Inn-keeping (well, Inn-ownership … I don’t suppose they got their hands too dirty). From 1841 to 1871 the White Lion was owned by James Potter whose son, Walter, displayed his stuffed animals at the Inn from 1861. He was, later (1880), to set up the Potter’s Museum (for more info click here) in, what is now, the gardens of Bramber Villa .


Potter’s Museum along from the Castle Hotel

It was when the Inn changed hands from James Potter to Henry Kelcey in 1871 that it changed its name to the Castle Hotel. This was as a result of the many visitors to the ruins of Bramber Castle, assisted by the opening up of the railway in 1861. Picnicing up at the Castle ruins led to Kelcey selling refreshments up there, so the change of name was a promotional ‘thing’. When the Duke of Norfolk sold Bramber Castle, the 1925 advert included a reference to a £70 per year rental paid by the Kemp Town Brewery (in east Brighton) which meant that the Castle pub was then a tied house of the brewery but continued to make money up at the Castle ruins. And why not. Now we just get the ice-cream man.

The Castle Hotel in recent flowering glory

For more info on the Castle Hotel/pub today click here


Next week: Brasenose – an Oxford College


I mentioned last week that Lawrence of Arabia’s motor bike sold at auction for a record £315,100. Well, keeping up with such prices, E.H. Shepard’s signed drawing of Winnie the Pooh et al playing pooh sticks sold at Sothebys this week for £315,500 – a record for any book illustration. I think I’m in the wrong buisness.


Pooh, Piglet and Christopher Robin – bargain at 300k!

Artemus Smith’s Notebooks

I continue my research of the notebooks of Dr Artemus Smith, archaeologist of great courage, determination and fiction. Here is another extract:

My fine friend, Christian de Belvedere, called in on my rooms the other day sporting a shiner of a black eye. “My dear fellow, what happened to you?” I enquired with deep concern.

“Well, old boy,” he replied, “I made bit of a faux pas. The wife said to me, ‘If I pass away before you I imagine you will find someone else in due course, but you won’t share our house with her will you?’ 

‘No, no, my dear,’ I replied.

Then she said, ‘You won’t give her my car will you?’

‘Good Lord, no, no, my dear’ I replied.

Then she said, ‘You won’t give her any of my clothes will you?’

‘Certainly not, my dear,’ I replied.

Then she said, ‘You won’t give her my golf clubs will you?’

‘Definitely not, my dear,’ I replied, ‘she’s left-handed ……..’ aagh!”


Thomas Spratt RN : Travels in Lycia and the Fellows’ Marbles (so, not just Elgin ….)

SEVERAL BLOGS AGO I waxed lyrical about Thomas Abel Brimage Spratt in Crete (‘Crete: the island that tipped’). Well, now I’m gonna tell you a little about him in Lycia (that’s southwestern Turkey – see map at end) and his involvement in the procuring of the Xanthos Marbles …..


Thomas Spratt (1811-1888) … remember him?

In April 1839 the antiquarian Sir Charles Fellows travelled to Lycia in search of antiquities and ancient sites. Perhaps the most spectacular of his discoveries was the ruins of the city of Xanthos. The date of these remains he considered to be ‘a very early one’ and the walls ‘Cyclopean’. He did not clarify how early but three temples at the site have since been dated to the Classical 5th century BC.

(c) British Museum; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation

 Sir Charles Fellows (1799-1860)

The Royal Naval hydrographer, Thomas Spratt and his two colleagues, the naturalist Edward Forbes and the historian the Rev E.T. Daniell, joined Fellows in January 1842 just before the completion of the latter’s work. Spratt’s ship, HMS Beacon then under the charge of Captain Graves, had been “commanded to bring from Syria [actually Anatolia] the remains of antiquity discovered at Xanthos by Sir Charles Fellows.” This may not have been considered an entirely popular venture by some in England as Forbes, although not clarifying, commented:

“There had not been a little discussion too, in London circles, with regard to the doings of the ‘Beacon’ when procuring the Xanthus marbles, and the part Captain Graves took in that expedition had been much misinterpreted.”


Xanthos Neried Monument now in the British Museum (courtesy of Fellows)

It would appear that the monuments of Xanthos were causing as much controversy as the Elgin Marbles had done forty years earlier. Along with Graves, both Spratt and Forbes appeared uneasy about this mass clearance of a site and its removal to England. Spratt himself was to send items back to the British Museum and the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge but not to this scale. In fact, Graves had given orders that two of the large tombs (Harpy and Payava) should not be dismantled until further instructions had come from Malta to construct suitable boats for their transportation down river. These orders were ignored.


Sailors dismantling the Tomb of Payava at Xanthos despite Capt Graves’ orders (drawn by Charles Fellows)


Tomb of Payava resituated in the British Museum

Spratt, Forbes and Daniell intended to travel to Lycia for surveying, naturalist and antiquarian purposes respectively. They came upon some eighteen ancient major cities and several other minor sites and managed to trace the marches of Alexander the Great through Lycia. Unfortunately Daniell was taken ill with malignant malaria and died before the completion of the expedition.


 Edward Forbes (1815-1854)

They began their tour at Makri harbour (ancient Telmessus), the nearest safe anchorage to Xanthos, and travelled to neighbouring Caria. It was not long before they came across the Cyclopean conglomerate stone architecture of Pinara. More Cyclopean walls were discovered at Arneae but unlike many other ancient walls of Lycia they bore no inscriptions, possibly indicating an earlier phase of architecture. Likewise at Cyaneae, where they reported, “within the walls was a confused row of buildings of early and late date; but we saw no sculptured fragments, columns or inscriptions.”


5th century BC Tombs at Pinara

Spratt’s and Forbes’ findings were published in their book Travels in Lycia (1847). However, Spratt was obviously unimpressed with the lack of credit he had received for his work in Lycia as his colleague, William Leake, wrote to Sir Roderick Murchison, the President of the Royal Geographical Society (RGS) on the 15th January 1854:

“Capt Spratt complains that his discoveries geographical and archaeological in Lycia and the adjoining parts of Asia Minor have never [been] noticed by any President [of the RGS] in his annual address, and I think he complains not without reason, those discoveries having been some of the most important that have been made in that country and of a nature particularly fitted to the objects of our Society.”


Lycia in Turkey

Poor old Spratt. In fact, very little has been written about his achievements – until my excellent book, Dawn of Discovery, that is (go to ‘MY PUBLICATIONS’ tab on this blog or just click here).


Next week: Ye Olde Bramber Castle Inn – a Pilgrim’s Progress


Artemus Smith’s Notebooks

I continue my research of the notebooks of Dr Artemus Smith, archaeologist of great courage, determination and fiction. Here is another extract:

I was in a restaurant the other day and a customer was bothering the waiter. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient as he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, I asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest. “Oh, I really don’t care or mind,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t have air conditioning.”